Amrita Pritam, as many would know was a prominent Punjabi writer and poet, perhaps most known for her poem “Aaj Aakhaan Waris Shah Nu” (Ode to Waris Shah). She won the Sahitya Academy Award for her magnum-opus Sunehe (Messages), the Bharatiya Jnanpith for Kagaz Te Canvas (The Paper and the Canvas) and later came to be awarded with the Padma Shri followed by the Padma Vibhushan. I have not been very familiar with her writings, but I do remember reading the Hindi translation of her novel Pinjar, around 6-7 years back. Being young, at that time I couldn’t gauge the complete worth of the work and now even the details of the story have pretty much faded into oblivion. Despite this forgetfulness the character of Puro is still etched somewhere in my memories and I’m reminded of her each time I read something about women being subjected to brutality. Her pain, the struggle for survival and the ultimate surrender to fate, all brought to life by Pritam; makes Pinjar one of the best piece of work on the Partition and its aftermath.
It is not Amrita Pritam as an author which I want to talk about…. in fact I am not to speak of her at all. To put it correctly, I would rather say that she is just acting as a medium to get to the point I want to make. What makes her my muse is a TV program which was being broadcasted on Rajya sabha TV, titled Unki Nazar Unka Shahar, where in today’s episode they portrayed the life of Amrita Pritam, both the professional and the personal. There is nothing to speak of her professional life except all good, but the personal life, had it belonged to a normal woman, would have been enough to raise eyebrows.
To phrase it very bluntly, so as to create a better understanding of the situation (as eloquent words sometimes cover up facts which a person wants to present), Pritam had left her husband for the poet Sahir Ludhianvi (who has to his credits songs such as Mai Pal Do Pal Ka Shayar, Chalo ek Baar Phir se Ajnabee…, Man re Kaahe Tu Na Dheer Dhare and many more). And later on when Sahir fell in love with singer Sudha Malhotra, Amrita found solace with a much younger man, the renowned artist Imroz, and stayed in a live-in relationship (might as well be read ‘in sin’) with him for the last 40 years of her life.
I am duly and truly apologetic for my choice of words here, but come to think of it, had it been another woman in her place who did not have such stature in life, wouldn’t similar reproachful sounding statements be written and said for her? If you ask my opinion, I would call Pritam to be a brave woman, who had the courage to make her life’s decisions for herself 50-60 years ago, when women would thing a zillion times before taking any such bold step. Even today, not many women would be having that fiber in them, to break the social norms and live life in the way she desires to. And hence a woman who stood up for herself and her beliefs when the society was not ready to accept them surely deserves our respect, and Pritam I can confidently say commands it. Her relationships with both Sahir and Imroz are viewed not as anything undignified, but as an embodiment of the love and adoration she had for them.
It is not true only of Amrita Pritam, but for any woman of position who lived and loved the way she wanted to. The trouble is when a woman of ordinary circumstances defies the societal rules and dares to do a similar action. The same action which would have been lauded as a path breaking effort becomes frowned upon if a commonplace girl attempts it. She is treated as a pariah, an outcast becoming the butt of jokes and ridicule. Her act no longer remains valiant rather she is a pollutant to the society, an unwelcome presence who’s living and dying has no effect whatsoever on anyone.
Despite all the modern values and approach we claim to have adapted ourselves to, it would still not be possible for us to accept a woman who leaves her husband for another man, or who has a child out of wedlock, or is living with a man without marriage, or is breaking any other similar norm (if only it was a man who had indulged in this, the society would have had no problems forgiving and forgetting; but let’s leave it for another time). A society which has problems accepting a woman who faced the most inhumane crime which could be inflicted against her, can very definitely not be found keen on welcoming someone who willingly overstepped the boundaries. And yet, when someone famous attempts it, absolution comes easy and so does regard.
Is it as simple to bend rules for a member of the same sex just based on her social standing? Isn’t it time when we need to let go of our hypocritical attitude and accept the fact that women too have desires and also the right to fulfill them. For there are many out there, not as accomplished as Amrita Pritam, but in identical situations, hoping for recognition and approval...nothing too much to ask for, is it?
It is not Amrita Pritam as an author which I want to talk about…. in fact I am not to speak of her at all. To put it correctly, I would rather say that she is just acting as a medium to get to the point I want to make. What makes her my muse is a TV program which was being broadcasted on Rajya sabha TV, titled Unki Nazar Unka Shahar, where in today’s episode they portrayed the life of Amrita Pritam, both the professional and the personal. There is nothing to speak of her professional life except all good, but the personal life, had it belonged to a normal woman, would have been enough to raise eyebrows.
To phrase it very bluntly, so as to create a better understanding of the situation (as eloquent words sometimes cover up facts which a person wants to present), Pritam had left her husband for the poet Sahir Ludhianvi (who has to his credits songs such as Mai Pal Do Pal Ka Shayar, Chalo ek Baar Phir se Ajnabee…, Man re Kaahe Tu Na Dheer Dhare and many more). And later on when Sahir fell in love with singer Sudha Malhotra, Amrita found solace with a much younger man, the renowned artist Imroz, and stayed in a live-in relationship (might as well be read ‘in sin’) with him for the last 40 years of her life.
I am duly and truly apologetic for my choice of words here, but come to think of it, had it been another woman in her place who did not have such stature in life, wouldn’t similar reproachful sounding statements be written and said for her? If you ask my opinion, I would call Pritam to be a brave woman, who had the courage to make her life’s decisions for herself 50-60 years ago, when women would thing a zillion times before taking any such bold step. Even today, not many women would be having that fiber in them, to break the social norms and live life in the way she desires to. And hence a woman who stood up for herself and her beliefs when the society was not ready to accept them surely deserves our respect, and Pritam I can confidently say commands it. Her relationships with both Sahir and Imroz are viewed not as anything undignified, but as an embodiment of the love and adoration she had for them.
It is not true only of Amrita Pritam, but for any woman of position who lived and loved the way she wanted to. The trouble is when a woman of ordinary circumstances defies the societal rules and dares to do a similar action. The same action which would have been lauded as a path breaking effort becomes frowned upon if a commonplace girl attempts it. She is treated as a pariah, an outcast becoming the butt of jokes and ridicule. Her act no longer remains valiant rather she is a pollutant to the society, an unwelcome presence who’s living and dying has no effect whatsoever on anyone.
Despite all the modern values and approach we claim to have adapted ourselves to, it would still not be possible for us to accept a woman who leaves her husband for another man, or who has a child out of wedlock, or is living with a man without marriage, or is breaking any other similar norm (if only it was a man who had indulged in this, the society would have had no problems forgiving and forgetting; but let’s leave it for another time). A society which has problems accepting a woman who faced the most inhumane crime which could be inflicted against her, can very definitely not be found keen on welcoming someone who willingly overstepped the boundaries. And yet, when someone famous attempts it, absolution comes easy and so does regard.
Is it as simple to bend rules for a member of the same sex just based on her social standing? Isn’t it time when we need to let go of our hypocritical attitude and accept the fact that women too have desires and also the right to fulfill them. For there are many out there, not as accomplished as Amrita Pritam, but in identical situations, hoping for recognition and approval...nothing too much to ask for, is it?
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