Vikruti Evam Prakriti

Yesterday the Supreme Court of United States gave two historic rulings strengthening the rights of gay couples. In one of the decisions, it was held that married same-sex couples were permitted to federal benefits, and in the other same-sex marriage was allowed in the state of California, when the Supreme Court declined to decide a case from there. The happiness and overwhelming support which the verdicts have received in the US, by the public as well as by the President, reminds me of the much more mixed reaction which was seen here in India, when the Delhi High Court by a 2009 ruling decriminalized homosexuality as an offence under Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, 1860.

The Delhi High Court’s decision was met with more condemnation than praise and the self appointed moral preachers of the nation saw this decision as one dooming the age old Indian customs and traditions to an era of uncouth and wicked practices. No big supporter of homosexuality myself, I still don’t find any of these protests worthwhile or correct. While speaking of how such acts are sinful and are against our social norms, we forget the sculptures at Khajuraho, Shiva Temple (Ambernath), Rhajrani Temple (Bhuvaneshwar), Padhavli and many other similar ancient works of art which involve scenes of same-sex sexuality. Also the Kamasutra (which without any question can be considered as one of the most important works on Kama Shastra) deals with the topic of homosexuality and describes it to have been practiced at many places. Though such relations are described to be wrongful by Vatsyayana, considering their deviance from the accepted procedure, the author does acknowledge that love and trust was present in these relations too. References of homosexual marriages in cases where one partner assumed the role of a woman have also been mentioned.

The Mahabharatha, the Ramayana none are void of indications towards the presence of homosexual relationships in those times. Even the Hindu Codes of Conduct, Manusmriti and Narada smriti, though admonish the practice of homosexuality the punishments prescribed are very mild…..thus stating loud and clear that despite the question of morality of the act, it was not considered to be of a criminal nature. In some versions of the Krittivasa Ramayana, it has been stated that King Bhagiratha (who is credited with bringing the holy Ganges to the earth) was born out of the union of two women.

Mythology apart, when you think of it, homosexuality was no offence before the formation of the Code of 1860 and so its decriminalization should not have been made such an issue in a country which has got more serious problems to face than this. Despite the High Court’s decision on decriminalizing homosexuality, cases can be heard of where same-sex relation was treated as an offence, if not by the law then by the community. People belonging to the LGBT community, regardless of our entire modern outlook, are still branded as being queer. This discrimination against them, based solely on their sexual preference is nothing but violative of their Right to Life as guaranteed by the Constitution under Article 21 and also of their Right to privacy.

Section 377 of the IPC dealing with Unnatural Offences, states “Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years and should also be liable to fine.” This section is driven by the basic presumption that natural sexual act is that which is performed for procreation. Any sexual act which is non-procreative in nature thus comes to be seen as an offence under it. If consensual sex between two men or two women is criminal merely because of its non-procreative nature, isn't it only proper that any sexual relationship between a man and a woman which does not happen with the intent of procreation also be criminalized (and with all sorts of contraception available in the market, I doubt that sexual activities are always indulged in keeping procreation in mind).

Prejudice against homosexuals also violates Articles 14 and 15 of the Constitution which prohibit any kind of discrimination based on sex (which naturally extends to discrimination based on sexual preferences and orientation). Decriminalizing it as an offence under 377 does not make things all rosy for same-sex couples, as various other laws such as relating to obscenity (Section 292 IPC), The Workman’s Compensation Act 1923, The Provident Fund Scheme 1952, The Payment of Gratuity Act 1972 still display bigotry against them.

One movie I would recommend watching to everyone is Philadelphia which deals with two very controversial topics at the same time, homosexuality and AIDS (a disease which was associated with the same for a very long time). If nothing else, the film would work towards reducing some prejudice against both (and Tom Hanks is always a treat to watch).

Homosexuality very obviously considering the un-naturality of the process has been condemned and frowned upon since the very beginning of times, but what needs to be realized is that despite all the scorning, it was still accepted as an alternative even in the early ages…..and hence the unchanged or rather even worse attitude harbored by many of us even today, raises the question on whether our society is actually progressing or not.

The Rig Veda which is one of the earliest sacrosanct manuscripts of Hinduism in one of the verses says “Vikruti Evam Prakriti” which would translate to ‘what seems un-natural is also natural’. And time demands that we bring ourselves to accept this un-naturalness (or whatever we refer it as) however hard it appears at first. Decriminalization of homosexuality as an offence is no longer the solution of their problem….what is needed as of today, is the legalization of same-sex relationships in India as well, so that discrimination and inequity against them stops and they are provided with the proper dignity and respect each person deserves.

Acceptance...too much to ask for?

Amrita Pritam, as many would know was a prominent Punjabi writer and poet, perhaps most known for her poem “Aaj Aakhaan Waris Shah Nu” (Ode to Waris Shah). She won the Sahitya Academy Award for her magnum-opus Sunehe (Messages), the Bharatiya Jnanpith for Kagaz Te Canvas (The Paper and the Canvas) and later came to be awarded with the Padma Shri followed by the Padma Vibhushan. I have not been very familiar with her writings, but I do remember reading the Hindi translation of her novel Pinjar, around 6-7 years back. Being young, at that time I couldn’t gauge the complete worth of the work and now even the details of the story have pretty much faded into oblivion. Despite this forgetfulness the character of Puro is still etched somewhere in my memories and I’m reminded of her each time I read something about women being subjected to brutality. Her pain, the struggle for survival and the ultimate surrender to fate, all brought to life by Pritam; makes Pinjar one of the best piece of work on the Partition and its aftermath.

It is not Amrita Pritam as an author which I want to talk about…. in fact I am not to speak of her at all. To put it correctly, I would rather say that she is just acting as a medium to get to the point I want to make. What makes her my muse is a TV program which was being broadcasted on Rajya sabha TV, titled Unki Nazar Unka Shahar, where in today’s episode they portrayed the life of Amrita Pritam, both the professional and the personal. There is nothing to speak of her professional life except all good, but the personal life, had it belonged to a normal woman, would have been enough to raise eyebrows.

To phrase it very bluntly, so as to create a better understanding of the situation (as eloquent words sometimes cover up facts which a person wants to present), Pritam had left her husband for the poet Sahir Ludhianvi (who has to his credits songs such as Mai Pal Do Pal Ka Shayar, Chalo ek Baar Phir se Ajnabee…, Man re Kaahe Tu Na Dheer Dhare and many more). And later on when Sahir fell in love with singer Sudha Malhotra, Amrita found solace with a much younger man, the renowned artist Imroz, and stayed in a live-in relationship (might as well be read ‘in sin’) with him for the last 40 years of her life.

I am duly and truly apologetic for my choice of words here, but come to think of it, had it been another woman in her place who did not have such stature in life, wouldn’t similar reproachful sounding statements be written and said for her? If you ask my opinion, I would call Pritam to be a brave woman, who had the courage to make her life’s decisions for herself 50-60 years ago, when women would thing a zillion times before taking any such bold step. Even today, not many women would be having that fiber in them, to break the social norms and live life in the way she desires to. And hence a woman who stood up for herself and her beliefs when the society was not ready to accept them surely deserves our respect, and Pritam I can confidently say commands it. Her relationships with both Sahir and Imroz are viewed not as anything undignified, but as an embodiment of the love and adoration she had for them.

It is not true only of Amrita Pritam, but for any woman of position who lived and loved the way she wanted to. The trouble is when a woman of ordinary circumstances defies the societal rules and dares to do a similar action. The same action which would have been lauded as a path breaking effort becomes frowned upon if a commonplace girl attempts it. She is treated as a pariah, an outcast becoming the butt of jokes and ridicule. Her act no longer remains valiant rather she is a pollutant to the society, an unwelcome presence who’s living and dying has no effect whatsoever on anyone.

Despite all the modern values and approach we claim to have adapted ourselves to, it would still not be possible for us to accept a woman who leaves her husband for another man, or who has a child out of wedlock, or is living with a man without marriage, or is breaking any other similar norm (if only it was a man who had indulged in this, the society would have had no problems forgiving and forgetting; but let’s leave it for another time). A society which has problems accepting a woman who faced the most inhumane crime which could be inflicted against her, can very definitely not be found keen on welcoming someone who willingly overstepped the boundaries. And yet, when someone famous attempts it, absolution comes easy and so does regard.

Is it as simple to bend rules for a member of the same sex just based on her social standing? Isn’t it time when we need to let go of our hypocritical attitude and accept the fact that women too have desires and also the right to fulfill them. For there are many out there, not as accomplished as Amrita Pritam, but in identical situations, hoping for recognition and approval...nothing too much to ask for, is it?

Ephemeral, Short-lived, Transitory….

Flipping through the news channels, all I can currently see is news regarding the ever rising number of deaths and destruction in Uttarakhand’s ‘Himalayan Tsunami’ which has been a major cause of concern for the state as well central government since the past few days. Stories of people who managed to survive and also of those who lost their lives, or worse, are still missing are being relayed in the television and in the newspapers, making me ponder once again on the ephemeral and transient nature of life. One second you are there hale and hearty, enjoying life to the fullest and the next you are gone forever to an unknown realm from where there is no turning back.

What happens beyond the veil has always been a subject of fascination for me (not the negative kind)… the unfamiliar familiarity with the mysterious, and the desire to know what is in store after comes naturally to me (I suppose to everyone else too). The thought leaves me somewhat scared of the inevitable and yet it holds me in a trance which is hard to come out of. What use is of life and all the pains undergone to make the best out of it, when with each passing second we are moving closer only to death? No one is spared of loss and bereavement, be it friends, family, acquaintances or even role models… and also one day he loses himself to this transition, and yet we strive day and night for petty gains, trivial desires.

Uttarakhand mishap apart from being a national loss is also quite personal to me. Not that I lost someone close to me, but because this summer we (my family and I) had also planned a vacation there which was to happen sometime now. Due to unforeseen reason, the plan got cancelled and this had not gone down too well with leading me to crib and make fuss for rather a good deal of days. And now when I hear about the devastation and fatalities, somewhere deep down I am happy that I was not there… This does not mean that I’m glad about what’s happening. But naturally, I am not in the least. And yet the feeling of being safe and sound, when it might have been otherwise, does wash me over with immense relief and joy.

The damage pains me like it does everyone else and I would have been a happier person had this not been. No death ever brings pleasure, even if it is your worst enemy who happens to be the sufferer. This is one happening where all likes and dislikes get thrown out the window and people stand together supporting in each other’s hurt. It is also a surprise that those who would not see eye to eye during life can also be seen grieving together in death. This fact makes it no easier to cope up with it though, for each death you witness leaves an interminable impact on your mind and comes back to haunt you time and again.

There is no way out evidently and this is anything but inexplicable, as it is not too hard to conceive that it is with death that life sprouts. A generation needs to end for the newer one to take over. This is how it was intended to be and this is what is the most rational. And despite this, all logic fails when one thinks of the unavoidable making you wish for an escape route. I can bet on it that no one in the right mind would choose death even if he is assured of a seat in the heaven. The unfamiliar is never attractive if there is no coming back. However brave a person is, there would always be a little fear of death in him, because it is this very fear which pushes him towards life. Quoting Woody Allen would aptly sum up my sentiments towards the topic, and also every other person’s I presume “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

And with this I pray for the peace all those who lost their lives and the safety of all who are struggling with theirs each passing second, in the hope to see the sun next morning.

Love Break-up Zindagi.. (The BJP-JDU Way)

They say if you live in India you can’t be aloof to three things, namely Cricket, Films and Politics. Either directly or indirectly everyone finds himself associated with them. Very naturally not all of us can be active players in these spheres, but we are still circuitously very much connected to them. Speaking of cinema first, it has been a medium to interlink people ever since its discovery…it makes us laugh and cry and undergo all the wide-ranging emotions which the character experiences, making us emulate those actions in our life. We feel for the characters and we feel for the people playing them…their joys and their sorrows all become our own. Next would be cricket, which again acts as a factor in bringing the nation together. The oh’s and ah’s when a batsman is out or when a catch is missed or the other team scores and the shouts of joy when Sachin hits a 6 or a 4 and that thrill when India wins a match…the emotions attached to the sport and the cricketers is worth a watch. People either love the game or hate it...but they simply can’t ignore the importance attached to it.

Although there no denying that cricket and films are relevant, they are not of concern here, as my focus lies on the subject of politics. There might be a possibility that one remains unconcerned about the other two, but politics- not a chance. The whole system of political parties, elections, government are anyways established for the benefit of ‘we the people’ and hence all the more reason for us to be interested in the political ongoing of our country. I would count myself among those few who are almost as little bothered about this structure as possible, and yet, today I can’t help but comment on all the hullabaloo and ruckus which is sprawled over the newspapers and television screens since the past few days. Yeah I am talking about the breakup of Bhartiya Janta Party (to be referred to as BJP) and Janata Dal United (JD(U) henceforth) after a marriage which lasted for well over 17 years. Now that’s pretty long a time to go separate ways, huh….but perhaps such is the world of politics (not to deny that our personal lives are soon turning into similar stories of splitsville too).

The newspapers, television and most importantly the social media are all splashing with stories of the Bihar Chief Minister’s ‘vishwaasghat’ against the NDA (National Democratic Alliance), the BJP and more so against the presumable heir apparent (to Manmohan Singh’s Prime Ministerial Chair), Narendra Modi. A 2003 video in which Nitish Kumar can be seen lavishly praising Modi and portraying him as the future of India has gone viral on the internet bringing flak to Kumar for being a hypocrite and backing out from the alliance once Modi has emerged as somewhat the undisputed leader of the Alliance. All his justifications about the speech being made during an official function as a customary protocol has not gone down too well with BJP (read Modi) supporters and claims of exposing his ‘duplicity’ are being made not only by the BJP and the Alliance, but by every Tom, Dick and Harry who has access to the internet and social networking.

I am not trying to make a point here, nor am I expressing support for the Chief Minister’s actions, for when you think logically, the decision does not seem any beneficial for him and his party. After a 10 year rule by the UPA (United Progressive Alliance) (with numerous skeletons tumbling out the closet every now and then in the form of a scam), the public would but naturally be wanting a change in the government now, and in those circumstances it would have been advisable to stick to the BJP, however disgruntling the NaMo namah chant would have been (for Kumar). Because as of today, unless some miracle happens and the Gods themselves come down to the aid of Congress (Khangress, as some typically anti-Gandhi Nehru family elements have begun to call it); Modi would in all likelihood be sweeping the tides this forthcoming general elections and abandoning the alliance at this stage is in the best interest of none of the two.

Honestly speaking, it really doesn’t matter to me, which among the two parties is more at loss with the split (as long as they are at one), for despite all the scams, A.Raja’s, Kanimozhi’s and Pawan Bansal’s, my vote still belongs the Congress (only problem being I don’t have one yet). But as a person who despite wanting with all heart to escape the influence of politics and can’t bring himself to that, it is a firm belief that the move on Kumar’s part was a hasty decision, and should not have been made just to spite a person and satisfy one’s ego. But once again, this is what has been happening in coalitions in the past and no evidences of it ceasing in the near future can be seen (at least not yet). Also you never know what tomorrow brings; for history shows, no fight can last too long in the power play.

Love......

This is definitely one of those topics which has been explored time and again by different people in astonishingly different ways. Speaking about it requires no prior knowledge, information or degree; even a layman would be able to aptly give a discourse on it and probably better than some very learned persons. Each one of us at diverse phases of life, has experienced this heavenly feeling in one form or the other giving and receiving it, basking in the warmth which the sensation provides.

When I speak of love it is not merely about the love of a man and a woman, not just the physical love or even only the spiritual, platonic love; but much more. I would incorporate in it the love parents have for their child and vice versa, the love siblings have for each other, the love we share with the rest of our family, the love for our friends, and not to leave aside the love for other animate and inanimate object. Each one of us caters a varying notion about it depending on the object towards which the sentiment has been directed; it can be transient, ephemeral or it might be eternal and undying.

Thinking of love, perhaps the first thought that creeps up to me is my parents…my mother to be precise but dad follows soon enough. It has been a raging battle within my mind for years as to whom amongst the two I love more and although I believe that mum holds an edge over dad, I have never been able to say this with conviction. There occur instances which make me feel that this diagnosis of mine is erroneous and yet I would love to stick to it for the time being until an instrument to measure the depths of love is discovered and brought to the market. In spite of this close fight which ensues between the two in my mind almost constantly, what would undoubtedly be more pleasant to them that were placed equally and yet I can’t seem to rid myself of a little favoritism towards one or the other.

Next in line and not very far behind is my brother, who since his childhood has been a constant companion and ally. With my father being in a transferable job, he was perhaps the only one who I could call my closest friend and till date he retains this position. He knows almost all my secrets (nothing dark in the closet, but still) and the best part about it being that he lets them remain one. I for one undertook the role of being the elder sibling quite seriously, helping him, fighting for him (and also with him), bullying away people who irritated him at school (and also bullying him). And as crazy as it sounds, I hate that he’s grown up...and that I can’t exert the same control over him that I once had. We have our share of fights, and rather frequently so, and still he remains as close to my heart as he was years ago, when his sister (i.e. I) meant more or less the entire world to him.

Then there would be my friends, who I don’t really regret saying are quite few in number. There are people who like to remain in the midst of the buzz and I on the other hand prefer to be a social pariah more often than not. This self imposed seclusion does not mean that I’m cut-off with the things going around me, but simply that I rather choose to be a bystander than being an active participant in them. I do speak to all who approach me, but they are more of acquaintances than anything else…….friends I’d say are limited and valuable. Come what may, I would never betray them for anything…for I cherish them too much to lose them. Among friends I would also count the various books which have been there for me through thick and thin, in highs and lows. My feelings for them can be summed up in a line by quoting the Namesake “That's the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.” And true to this belief, books have helped me understand things, made me see the world without speaking a word and without me having to lift a feet.

And while we are on the topic of love, how can that one guy be left behind who slowly becomes the epicenter of all thoughts and actions; that special someone who gives you a reason to change yourself for him, who stands by you until the very end and beyond; he who becomes a cause of inquisitiveness for your friends and acquaintances, and thus somewhat a distress to you and yet you are unable to let go of him. Evidently I am no authority to speak on this particular topic, as I’m yet to find the person in question, and despite that I feel a surge of emotions towards that unknown individual who would share the better part of life with me. It would definitely not always be a bed of roses, but again (as it has done countless times previously with the aforementioned relations), there would be that everlasting sentiment to help sail through….there always is.

Happy Birthday Papa....

16th June 2013, an ordinary day like another and yet holding a special relevance to me. Most would know that it is the Father’s Day today, but apart from this, it also happens to be my father’s birthday. Come to think of it, most of the times it is hard for me recall my own birthday...and yet there are some days which are significantly imprinted in my mind, papa’s birthday being one of them. It obviously happened many years before I was born and logically speaking since I was not there to witness the event, it shouldn’t be as important to me. And despite this, somehow 16th of June seems to hold an unusual place in my heart, same as my does my mother’s birthday and their anniversary.

The only plausible reason I can gauge for this is that I owe my being to these dates. It is only coz of my parent’s birth and their subsequent marriage that I live and breathe; and that I think would be the cause of my fascination with these days. This year the coinciding of 16th with father’s day makes it all the more momentous to me.

Father’s Day as per Wikipedia is ‘a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society’ and ‘was inaugurated in the United States in the early 20th century to complement Mother's Day in celebrating fatherhood and male parenting.’ Although if you ask me, I really don’t feel that there was any need to dedicate a specific day to honour fathers, or even mothers (not because it is not worth it, for of course it is). No day can really denote and represent in totality what the parents are for a child and what the child is to them; and nor can showering love on your parents for one single day of the year make up for all those other days when you might have neglected them. And regardless of this moral preaching, I am not in the least immune to the trend.

Moving on from dates and days, lemme now speak on the man whose presence makes them worth speaking about. All of us without a doubt love our parents a lot (not speaking of some less fortunate ones) and I’m no exception. When I think back to my childhood, the first memory of papa which comes to me is him carrying me around, while I stood on his feet and the next would be him and mummy singing lullaby’s together for my brother and I. There are many others which flash before my eyes in a jiffy, overwhelming me with all sorts of emotions entangled together. These are moments when I’ve loved him to death and also simultaneously, instances when I’ve hated him with the same intensity. Loved- that is understandable after all I’m talking about my dad; I am bound to love him obviously. But it is not just this social binding which makes me love him; it has more to do with the sort of a person he is, kind-hearted, generous, intelligent, caring and the list goes on. (I won’t dwell deeper on it, as coming from me this might sound more of a self-praise than anything else.) Hatred- now this is not something about which I should be proud of, and I clearly am not. Harboring such negative emotion towards him, even for a second has been a mistake, a grave one at that. Albeit on second thoughts, each child during his/her growing period must have gone through these phases of revolts and rebellions, all without a cause; and each of them must have regretted it in the same manner as I.

Dad has definitely always been the best father I could have ever dreamt of...I on the other hand have never quite been the daughter he would perhaps have wanted. And despite all my imperfections, temper, laziness, lethargy he does not love me any less. Sometimes I even feel he loves me a little more than my brother, a fact which is denied fervently no doubt, but (sorry Addy), the denial does not make it any less true.

They say that a father is his son’s first hero, and daughter’s first love. All I would like to say is that for me, dad is not simply my first love but also very well fits the bill of being my first hero (perhaps the last one too).

There would be many more father’s day and many more birthdays, but for this once, I want to make him a promise, a promise to fulfill all the dreams he has seen for me, all the aspirations he has catered since the day I was first placed in his arms, a promise to achieve what many would deem unachievable. And though I’ve been told many a times by dad himself that I shouldn’t aim at attaining something just because he wants me to, I don’t think any accomplishment of mine would be devoid of a desire to first please him……after all at the end of the day I would always be Daddy’s little girl.